there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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