Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
