At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
is that a dick in a sweater?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
