i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
