Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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