K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize
