if only i could text you this smell
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
