Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
