who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
