The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
