Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
