Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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