Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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