you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
