he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
