I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
