i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
