The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
