I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
