how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
