I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
