I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize