well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
