I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
