I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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