you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
