i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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