i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
