so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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