I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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