I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
