I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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