Buhtt sex?
I just threw up on my dentist
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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