i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
