i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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