Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Can you bring me the toilet please
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
