he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
