I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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