I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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