This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
