I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
