I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Actions speak louder than pants.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
