I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
