She said her name was "party"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
