Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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