I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so let's talk penis.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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