Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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