you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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