oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You ruined the universe
Randomize
