i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
