You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
