I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
