Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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